Posts Tagged ‘funny’

How to make your holiday family dinners more fun!

Recently my big sister and her husband came out from California to visit me and the rest of our family for a short get together. On one of the evenings that she was staying over we decided to make dinner for the family and took me shopping for supplies. During our trip she decided to pick up a piece of ginger with the threat of using it on me. Having never tried ginger in my ass before, I didn’t believe her and hoped that she would/wouldn’t use it on me. But being my big sister, the ginger found its way into my ass. While she was preparing dinner for the family, she cut the ginger up into the salad but while doing so managed to create a phallic looking piece which she then proceeded to help me place inside my ass with the instructions that it was supposed to stay in till after dinner was finished.

At first I was very skeptical about the idea of placing raw ginger up my ass, but as I have discovered, I enjoyed other things that she puts up my ass and as she didn’t make it a choice I ended up at the dining room table facing our parents and younger siblings with fresh cut ginger lodged firmly inside me. When I had first placed it up me it just felt strange but soon both the inside and outside of my ass was stinging. Then my cunt began to sting and dinner became much more difficult to focus on. Soon every time I moved I felt the ginger move inside me and my body became hotter and hotter, as arousal began to pool low inside me. After awhile all I could think about was that ginger and how incredibly horny I felt and how badly I wanted an enema. Both my sister and brother in law were watching me during dinner and I couldn’t help squirming when I caught their eyes and saw them leer at me.  My little sister finally asked if I was alright because I kept squirming so much so I had to finally try to keep still with the feeling of becoming extremely aroused spreading throughout my entire body. Finally after the dinner was done and dishes were washed, and desert was eaten, my sister told me that dinner was done and I rushed upstairs to my room.

Once I got up to my room I immediately stripped naked and pulled out my enema bag. I was so aroused I could feel my nipples harden and my cunt was so wet I had dripped all down my legs, because I had been rubbing them together attempting to stoke my clit all through dinner, brushing my two labia rings against it, trying to find some relief from the arousal that the ginger in my ass was causing. After filling up my enema bag I slipped into my shower and fitting my bag to the shower head I laid on the tile floor and after inserting the nozzle into myself and turning my vibrating bullet on full speed I proceeded to happily fill my body full of wonderful luke warm water that made my stomach bulge and my cunt become unbearable. Finally as the last of the water filled me, I fell into a spiral as my body hit one climax after another, my breath became ragged and quickened and I began to moan, one hand on my clit, the other pinching and rubbing my nipples loving the fill of the ginger as it was is mixed with the water. Finally after the last orgasm hit me, I lay moaning in contentment on the floor.

Soon though nature called and I had to remove the nozzle and find my toilet as fast as possible. Water with ginger added to it is very interesting when it leaves your body and I love the feel of releasing a full belly of water. The added feeling of the gingers sting as it left me caused my body to begin to get aroused all over again and I had to jack off again after emptying myself of everything while cleaning off in the shower. I then got dressed into my PJs, and went down stairs to watch a movie with my family and snuggle with my sister. I had been very critical at the beginning of the evening as I so typically am about many of her orders, but the mixture of the ginger, the sensation of something not only rubbing inside my ass but also stinging and arousing my clit and having to behave in front of my parents with the knowledge of the ginger in my ass all caused me to have one of the best family dinners of my life.

Anyone up for enema painting?

ENEMA PAINTING FROM CRAIGS LIST:

Painting – 26 (Woodley)
Reply to: pers-1009102894@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-26, 9:33PM EST

I’m a 26-year old painter who just moved to town. I’m looking for other in-shape guys interested in enema painting. This is my picture. Please have pictures in first email. Serious only please.

Location: Woodley

 

Really? WOW, I’m…impressed. Or, maybe sort of grossed out but that’s just because my desires don’t happen to cross into this realm. Knock yourself out buddy. Anyone out there care to comment on enema painting?

What questions might we have for this young man?
*What sort of picture are you wanting: of their enema paintings or of themselves?
*What or whom do you use as a canvas?

Nicotine enemas

Smoke-Enema-Kit-425[1]

The earliest I’ve been able to track them is to the American Indians. In the 1740’s, Richard Mead was a physician to the English throne. He was the first to recommend the application of tobacco rectally. Smoke was pumped into the rectum with the use of this sort of contraption. It was used to help resuscitate drowning victims, help with constipation and for cholera. This practice continued into the 19th century. It became so commonplace that portable tobacco-enema devices were installed along the riverbank of the Thames along with general First Aid kits.

443px-Tobacco_smoke_enema_device

You would think it stopped there after being proved as potentially fatal! But no. Do not under estimate our ability to have faith in anal probing and use.

Though this may prove too dry a read for most of my followers, I do suggest you take a moment if you’re at all interested in the effects of nicotine on Crohn’s Colitis. It is interesting to consider being in one of these studies… On the other hands, other studies have shown this is incorrect and that there is no helpful effects associated.

In the Postgraduate Medical Journal 2005there was a study completed on individuals including nicotine enemas. I wonder what effects of the nicotine itself had a hand in helping those that voted it their first or second favorite retention. The obvious flaw here would be the incredibly small number of persons it was performed on.

Patch has been shown to work better

The sex toy party

We hosted a women’s only sex toy party last night. I’ve done this once before and wasn’t thrilled with the hostess given to me by Passion Parties so I was unsure about trying it again.  But this lady was an independent business owner and not part of a giant pyramid scheme.

My first clue we were in for a good time: I knew she was a twisted kinkster like us. And, she started unpacking her incredible overstuffed, though perfectly organized van. I watched as a huge rack of barely there lingerie walked through the door followed by countless rolling drawer sets full of all types of pleasureful items and fun to be created!

Several of us were there early so we sat in round about the living room chatting. I left the room for barely a moment and returned to hear, “how much water should you use in an enema?”. I stopped mid tracks and said, “Whatever you want to know, I want to talk about!”. And suddenly the flood gates were opened. There wasn’t a lady in the room without some input on the subject whether it was concern, excitement or somewhere between.

Since we had half an hour to kill I plunged in and made the most of it. Many of them only did enemas for the sake of mouth to ass play or anal sex. It wasn’t long before I had dished out some of my favorite scenearios for actually PLAYING with the enema proceedure itself that they started to all starry eyed.  Suddenly one of them bursts out with, “I just got a shower shot and I’m nervous but excited to use it!”. It was all I could do not to beg to ‘show’ her…  We discussed role play, technique, usage, food choices, soap concerns and more.

How random! I was tickled pink this had come about and without me being the one to instigate as is typically the case.

Needless to say, we had a GREAT evening with Potions and Passion including half naked women, licking, ladies on their knees, lots of lingerie modeling, sharing of high heels, games with sex toys, wine, conversation and awesome laughs! If you are able, book her for a toy party. We all left with tons of new fun stuff to carry home and give a try immediately. I know I did!

The Spoof

Do you watch The Spoof News online? It’s silly, ridiculous, useless and funny. A good moments break during the day. I want to know what’s going on with the writers that they have posted three seperate enema stories within two weeks time? Why the current anal fixation and what’s the good beefy story behind their playfulness?

Oct 17, 2009: Two Die After Paying $9,000 Fee For Celestial Enema Rituals:’ Shit Happens’ Says Spiritual Guru!

Oct 27, 2009: Fleet Enemas threaten to attack Earth! Aliens behind it! Government says,’no need to panic!’

Nov 4, 2009: US Senator Al Franken hospitalized after peanut butter enema goes wrong!

Which is your favorite?

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